I’ve recovered a brief memory, if it can even be called that, of being in the ambulance during my casual near-death encounter this June. It’s more dream than memory, really. I was at Funtown, this small amusement park in the city where my father lived while I was growing up, with Nick, and there was this endless sea of frustration between us, and a strong yearning to escape. When he wasn’t looking I slipped away and entered the tunnel for the Astrosphere, this ride which was basically an egg beater inside a dome, that included loud music, periods of blackness interspersed with colors, pictures flashing on the walls, and strobe lights. It was so thrilling, and I felt free and exhilarated, and yet there was something terrifying and uncomfortable about this ride, which had been a favorite of mine as a child. It seemed so different now, all these lights, all this whirling and tumbling, all this noise and chaos, and this woman with fuzzy brown hair leaning towards me and asking me to stay with her, asking me to tell her who they could call. “Where is my husband?” I remember saying, and then everything became blurry, and then everything was black again.


About A B

"There is all this untouched beauty, the light, the dark, both running through me." -Over The Rhine
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