I think most sane, normal women would respond to the dishonorable and disgusting actions of once revered loved one with jealousy, shock, and sadness. That would be a completely understandable response.
But I’m no ordinary woman. I respond with unbridled rage. I become genuinely nauseous. I have sudden onset panic attacks like epileptic seizures. I feel, at least momentarily, like caving in a skull with my bare bloody fists.
On a more positive note, I don’t own any weapons, my car really needs an oil change tomorrow, and I am due for a good four mile run, so alas. Life moves on, and the anger subsides for a time. It becomes, like so many things, just a very lovely and terrible thought to fuel another very sleepless night.