I loved you in spite of yourself. Like a visionary, I peered through the veils of your flesh and bones and the thick indomitable chains of your consciousness, and saw something bold and vulnerable, something ravishing and terrifying all at once. I thought if I could just sit with you, just walk alongside you in service, and brave through the storms of your own mind, that if I was still and patient enough, the chains would somehow break, the storm would somehow be quelled,
and there you would be before me, bold, vulnerable, ravishing, and terrifying, and I would hold this quivering, precious life that has always been you in my arms, could kneel at your feet as if greeting a great king, and welcome you to the world that you were always a part of, though you were always too blind to see it.
I said I could spend a lifetime doing nothing with you.
This is not what I meant.